How to Ask Your Parents to Stop Commenting on Your Weight
They probably think they're being helpful. Maybe it's a "you look like you've gained a little" at dinner, or a "are you sure you should eat that?" that makes you want to scream. Comments about your body from your parents hit different — they stick with you. Setting this boundary is hard, but it's worth it. These texts are firm but loving.
The Direct, Loving Boundary
RecommendedHey Mom/Dad — I need to talk to you about something that's been on my mind. When you make comments about my weight or what I'm eating, it really affects me — even when I know you mean well. I need you to stop. My body and my health are mine to manage, and those comments make it harder, not easier. I love you and I want us to have a good relationship without this being a thing between us.
Alternative Versions
Warm & Vulnerable
warmI know you love me and you're coming from a place of caring. But I need to be honest — the comments about my weight really hurt. They make me dread coming home sometimes, and I don't want that. Can we agree to take my body off the table as a conversation topic? I'd really appreciate it.
Firm & Clear
firmI need to be straightforward with you. I'm done having conversations about my weight, my body, or what I eat. It's not up for discussion. I've asked nicely before and I need you to take it seriously this time. This is a boundary, not a suggestion.
Polite — First Time Raising It
politeHey, I've been wanting to bring something up. I know you probably don't realize how it lands, but when you comment on my weight or my eating, it really sticks with me. I'd love it if we could focus on other things when we talk. It would mean a lot to me.
If this helped, you can support the project
Everything here is free. Donations help keep it running and improving for everyone.
Free bonus templates
Get more scripts for friends and family
Messages for boundaries, favors, apologies, and the conversations you keep putting off.
When to Use This
Send this when you're calm — not in the heat of the moment right after a comment. Text can actually work better than in-person for this because it gives them time to process without getting defensive on the spot. Be clear that this is a boundary, not a request. You're telling them what you need, not asking permission.
What Not to Say
Don't apologize for setting the boundary. Don't say "it's fine" or "it's not a big deal" — it is a big deal, and minimizing it gives them permission to keep doing it. Don't attack their character or say "you always" and "you never." And don't try to educate them about eating disorders in the same message — keep it focused on what you need.
Follow-Up Message
If You Need to Follow Up
If they make another comment after you've set the boundary: "I already talked to you about this. Comments about my weight are off-limits. I'm not going to debate it — I just need you to respect it. Can you do that for me?"