How to Ask Someone to Stop Drinking at an Event
When someone you care about is overdoing it, stepping in is an act of friendship. Here is how to do it without embarrassing them.
Private, Caring Check-In
RecommendedHey [Name], come grab some water with me real quick. [Pull them aside privately.] I care about you, and I think you have had enough tonight. I am not judging -- I just want to make sure you get home safe and feel good tomorrow. Want to switch to water or grab some food?
Alternative Versions
More Direct Version
directHey, I think you have had enough. Let me get you some water. I am saying this because I care about you.
Warmer Version
warmHey, come sit with me for a sec. You are having a great time and I love that, but I want to make sure you feel good tomorrow too. Let us grab some food and water. I will hang with you.
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When to Use This
Use this when: - Someone is visibly intoxicated and still drinking - Their behavior is becoming unsafe or embarrassing - You have a close enough relationship to speak up - You can pull them aside privately
What Not to Say
Avoid: - Calling them out in front of everyone - Being preachy or condescending - Saying "you always do this" - Trying to physically take their drink away - Ignoring the situation and hoping someone else handles it
Follow-Up Message
If You Need to Follow Up
If they resist: "I get it, you are having fun. I am not trying to ruin your night. But I am going to get you some water and hang with you for a bit. You will thank me tomorrow."