How to Tell a Friend You Do Not Want to Be Set Up
Your friend keeps trying to play matchmaker and you are not interested. Whether you are happy being single or just not looking right now, here is how to shut it down kindly.
Warm but Clear Boundary
RecommendedHey [Name], I appreciate you looking out for me, but I am not looking to be set up right now. I know you mean well and I love that you care, but I would rather you not try to match me with anyone for now. I will let you know if that changes!
Alternative Versions
Playful Decline
Lighter ToneHaha I love that you are trying to find me someone, but I am genuinely good right now! No need to play matchmaker. I will let you know if I change my mind!
Firm Repeat Boundary
After Repeated AttemptsHey [Name], I know you mean well, but I have asked you a few times now to not set me up. I need you to respect that. My dating life is something I want to handle on my own. I hope you understand.
Number Was Shared
When They Already Gave Your Number OutHey [Name], I just got a text from someone saying you gave them my number. I appreciate that you are looking out for me, but I really need you to ask me first before sharing my contact info. I am not looking to be set up right now. Please do not give my number out again without checking with me.
If this helped, you can support the project
Everything here is free. Donations help keep it running and improving for everyone.
Free bonus templates
Get more scripts for friends and family
Messages for boundaries, favors, apologies, and the conversations you keep putting off.
When to Use This
Use this when: - A friend keeps suggesting dates or giving out your number - You are not interested in dating right now - You have already turned down their setups and they keep trying - You want to be clear without hurting the friendship
What Not to Say
Avoid: - Being mean about the people they suggest - Saying "maybe later" if you mean no - Getting angry at their first attempt -- they usually mean well - Ignoring their suggestions without responding - Being so vague they think you are just being modest