How to Text Your Ex to Get Your Stuff Back
You broke up, but your hoodie did not. Getting belongings back from an ex is one of those logistics-meets-emotions moments where saying the wrong thing can reignite drama you thought was over. The goal is simple: be clear, be kind, and keep it short so neither of you ends up in a two-hour text spiral about what went wrong.
Friendly and Low-Pressure
RecommendedHey [Name], hope you're doing okay. I wanted to see if we could arrange a time for me to grab the rest of my things. I'm free [day/time] or [day/time] -- whatever works for you. Happy to keep it quick and easy. Let me know what's best.
Alternative Versions
Polite and Respectful
politeHi [Name], I hope you're doing well. When you get a chance, I'd love to arrange a time to pick up the rest of my things. I'm flexible on timing -- just let me know what works for you and I'll make it easy. No rush, but I'd appreciate it when you're ready.
Short and Direct
directHey [Name], I need to grab my stuff. Are you free [day] or [day]? I can swing by, grab everything, and be out in 10 minutes. Let me know.
Warm and No Hard Feelings
warmHey [Name], I know this is a little awkward, but I wanted to see about getting my things back when it's convenient. No weird energy -- I just want to tie up loose ends so we can both move forward. I'm around [day] if that works, or I'm open to whatever timing is easiest for you.
Firm After Being Ignored
firmHi [Name], I've reached out a couple of times about picking up my belongings and haven't heard back. I'd really like to get this sorted. Can we set a time this week? If it's easier, I'm happy to have a friend come by or do a contactless pickup -- whatever you prefer. I just need my things back.
If this helped, you can support the project
Everything here is free. Donations help keep it running and improving for everyone.
Free bonus templates
Get more dating message scripts
Ready-to-send texts for first messages, follow-ups, and hard conversations.
When to Use This
Send this when: • The breakup was relatively amicable or at least not hostile • You have specific items you need back (clothes, books, electronics) • Enough time has passed that it will not feel like an excuse to see them • You want a clean break without lingering loose ends • You are ready to keep the exchange brief and drama-free
What Not to Say
Avoid: • Using this as a reason to reconnect or have "the talk" again • Listing every item like a legal inventory -- keep it general • Being passive-aggressive about how long it has been • Bringing up the relationship, what went wrong, or new partners • Showing up unannounced -- always arrange a time first
Follow-Up Message
If You Need to Follow Up
If they do not respond within a few days: "Hey, just circling back on this. No rush at all -- just want to figure out a time that works. If it's easier, I can also send someone to grab it or we can do a porch pickup. Whatever's simplest."