How to Tell Someone You Only Want Something Casual
If you're not looking for a relationship, it's better to say so early than to let someone catch feelings under false pretenses. Honesty saves everyone time and pain.
Honest About Intentions
RecommendedI want to be upfront with you because I respect your time. I'm not looking for anything serious right now — I'm enjoying getting to know you and I'd like to keep seeing you, but I want to make sure we're on the same page about where this is heading.
Alternative Versions
Gentle Honesty
warmI'm having a great time with you and I don't want that to stop. But I also don't want to be unfair — I'm not in a headspace for a relationship right now. I just want to make sure you know that before things go further.
Straightforward
directI want to be clear with you: I'm not looking for a relationship. I enjoy what we have, but I think you should know where I stand so you can decide what works for you.
Respectful Disclosure
politeI think you're wonderful and I owe you honesty. I'm at a point in my life where I can't give someone the full commitment of a relationship. I hope that's something we can talk about openly.
No Ambiguity
firmI like spending time with you, but I need to be straight: I'm keeping things casual. That's not going to change in the near future. If that doesn't work for you, I completely understand.
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When to Use This
Have this conversation before things get emotionally deep — ideally within the first few dates. Don't wait until they bring up exclusivity. Leading with honesty is always the better play.
What Not to Say
Don't say "let's just see where it goes" if you already know. That's not openness, it's avoidance. Don't frame casual as "the smart choice" — just state what you want and let them decide if it works for them.
Follow-Up Message
If You Need to Follow Up
If they say they want more: "I hear you, and I respect that you know what you want. I do not want to lead you on or give you less than you deserve. If casual does not work for you, I completely understand if you want to step back. No hard feelings at all."